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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450069">From the Ashes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWithBrightEyes/pseuds/TheGirlWithBrightEyes'>TheGirlWithBrightEyes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Disabled Character, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, M/M, Missing Persons, Organized Crime, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Prostitution, Rescue Missions, Science Fiction, Space Flight, Swearing, Weapons, space colonies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:54:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWithBrightEyes/pseuds/TheGirlWithBrightEyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after the great war ended, an old five-man cell is being summoned for a mission - war heroes have started to go missing only to turn up dead. A battle against the clock starts, because only four members of the cell are accounted for... Akito, Haruto's best friend and the only man he's ever loved, has gone missing.</p><p>Rated teen for usage of weapons and language.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>From the Ashes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This short original fic was loosely inspired by the many war animes set in space colonies with young soldiers. I've been rather fond of the genre since I watched Gundam Wing some twenty years ago.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It was the 5th year after the Apocalypse, the last war had raged for 25 years until it finally it had climaxed in a final blow that had destroyed half of the western continent. It had put an end to the war, and bittersweet ceremonies had been held to honor the heroes. Badges had been given, and the little compensations the countries could offer after having their economy torn to pieces.</p><p>Many young knew only the harsh times of battle, and many teenagers had been forced to quit school and join the army, especially those without guardians. The dark times had changed people.</p><p>Haruto was one of those teenagers, he had known battle since he was ten, and participated in the final clash at the tender age of seventeen along with a small group of boys his age. After the Apocalypse, the small group of close friends had scattered to the many colonies.</p><p>---</p><p>Haruto was sitting by his kitchen table, twirling a coffee mug with a cracked handle in his hand while staring blankly in front of him, chin propped up against one hand. His small cottage by the coast was mostly empty, even after these five years of peace. Most of the furniture being salvaged goods from ruined houses. He had never really taken up interest in such things, this simple life suited him well enough.</p><p>At twenty two, Haruto was a lanky young adult, with his long, blonde hair in a loose braid snaking down his back. Grey eyes were almost always tired with dark rings under his eyes, he wore a too big t-shirt and worn jeans frayed at the feet. When he was home he padded around bare feet, and at work he wore heavy army boots. He might have been handsome once, but the times of war had taken its’ toll on him. Both physically in form of scars and poor hearing, and mentally all who goes through such times come out scarred. Haruto probably better off than many others.</p><p>A sharp knock on the door dragged Haruto out of his daydream, and he left his mug to answer the door. He hadn’t had any visitors since the neighbors down the beach had lost their cat… He wondered how many times they had knocked and he had not heard it.</p><p>“Coming, coming,” he muttered as another sharp knock was heard, and the door swung open. The blonde’s eyes went wide. On the doorstep stood one of his old friends from the war - Caley, one of the boys from the small five-man cell. The strategy guy, who always came attached with a laptop and most people skills of all of them.</p><p>Haruto’s eyes fell on the cane in Caley’s hand, remembering the attack that crushed his knee during the final battle. It had been so fast. And he wasn’t the only one. The memory was too painful to think about, and he pushed it out of his mind.</p><p>“Cay,” he mumbled, receiving no visible reaction. Caley’s blue eyes watched him until he moved out of the way, and his friend limped inside. “What brings you here?”</p><p>“A  lot of things,” Caley answered without looking at Haruto, only stopping to glance into the kitchen.</p><p>“You brought no suitcase, just the laptop,” Haruto raised his voice, and came up behind his friend. Caley shook his head, turning around.</p><p>“I didn’t know what to bring.” He sighed, running a hand through his dark brown hair. “Look, Haruto,” he started, as if he wanted to say something. But then his eyes met Haruto’s and his cheeks went pink. He turned around and limped further into the living room, settling down on the sofa. Haruto remained where he was, standing outside the kitchen with a confused look on his face.</p><p>“Whatever,” he muttered, going to fetch his mug. “I only have one bed you know,” he informed as he came back, sipping his coffee.</p><p>“I can sleep on the sofa,” Caley answered, kicking off his shoes and massaging his sore knee.</p><p>“Look, Cay. Why have you come?” Haruto asked, clearly annoyed. Finally a reaction. Caley stared right at him.</p><p>“Because I was worried about you, of course,” he answered, as if Haruto’s question was absurd. Haruto was taken back, almost dropping his mug.</p><p>“What? Why? Oh come on Cay, we’ve fought a fucking war here, and <em>now</em> you’re worried?” he glared at Caley, who stared back at him with a tired expression. He sighed and drew his fingers through his hair.</p><p>“Sit down Haruto,” he said, he tone sharp. “This is important.”</p><p>“Why? Has something happened?” Haruto sunk down in a battered armchair, putting the mug on the table.</p><p>“In a fashion, yes,” Caley sat glumly. “How much have you listened to the news on radio?” he asked, peering at Haruto. The blonde shrugged.</p><p>“Only listen a bit at work, not that much to be honest. The noise annoys me.”</p><p>“Well I have.” Caley stared at him, putting his hands together. “There has been…incidents. Heroes of the war gone missing and turning up in the gutter after a couple of months. Dead.” Haruto’s shoulders drooped.</p><p>“And now you think they’re after you and me too?” he whispered, his mouth dry. To his surprise, Caley shook his head.</p><p>“Not…exactly. I can’t know that. But Haruto…”Caley looked pained. “Akito has gone missing.”</p><p>The silence that fell was so heavy you could have cut it with a knife, and Haruto’s expression went from shocked, to angry, to pained. He fisted his hands. Then suddenly his face softened to sad, with a tiny, tender smile on his lips. Concern was written all over Caley’s face.</p><p>“…he is, huh…?”he whispered, looking away.</p><p>“You never admitted it but I know you loved him back then,” Caley said quietly, barely loud enough for Haruto to hear. His left ear was better off than his right, but it was still not good enough.</p><p>Caley was right. He was. He’d accepted it now. It had taken years, but he had.</p><p>“…I know,” he admitted, face still turned away. “I’ve cursed myself a million times for that…it’s the fucking stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I still… I still suffer for it.” He groaned. “Bastard! Now you’ve had me worried too!” he glared at Caley, and gave him a mock punch to the shoulder. “I had almost…almost forgotten about him and here you come!”</p><p>“Liar,” Caley accused, but he was smiling.</p><p>It was a lie. He was every bit as in love with Akito as he’d been at the end of the war, the feelings had not dulled the least. He’d thought it would get better with time if he kept himself busy and far, far away from the guy. The pain had retreated to a constant ache, but now it flared up with renewed strength.</p><p>“What does it matter?” he glared back. “He’s not exactly the loving kind. I might as well try to cuddle with a brick wall. Akito knows nothing about feelings, you know that. He’s never been able to handle it.” Caley made a face at the thought of Haruto and Akito cuddling, and shook his head.</p><p>“Either way... If he’s been abducted we can’t just wait for his body to turn up in a ditch. He might have been an ace back then, but not even Akito is immortal, you know that.” Haruto sighed heavily and leaned his head against his hands.</p><p>“We’re going to have to go after him, don’t we?” he whispered, even though he already knew the answer. It frightened him more than anything.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s the deal. We’ll wait here for orders. The other two are already on their way here, the Queen will contact us once they have a solid lead. Oh yeah…your work has been notified. No work until we know who did this, the risk that you’ll be taken too is too big.”</p><p>---</p><p>That night, Haruto couldn’t sleep. He got up and stared out through the window at the ocean outside. The moon and stars reflected against the water, giving out a silver glow. Usually it would comfort him, but not tonight. The tension had just been building up since Caley gave him the news. A thousand wild thoughts had wrecked his brain. He was worried. Worried for himself, worried for the others - and worried about Akito.</p><p>The worry about Akito wasn’t even worry. It was as if his insides were crying and screaming in agony. Clutching at his chest, Haruto muttered a curse and leaned on the windowsill.</p><p>“God dammit,” he swore, massaging his temple. “Why does it still hurt so much?”</p><p>“Because it’s real.” Haruto looked up, Caley standing in the door. “More real than anything else we’ve ever been through.” He shuffled over to the window, staring out.</p><p>“I didn’t even know I swung that way until I met him,” Haruto groaned. “Bastard. How the hell did you figure it out? I’m pretty sure I never let anything slip.” Caley cocked his head to the side.</p><p>“I don’t know. I think it was during the Rakel incident,” he said thoughtfully. Haruto sighed and leaned back against his bed, looking up. The Rakel incident, of course. Rakel had been the working name for a young male prostitute that had turned up in one of the highest ranked officers apartment – raped with his throat slit. They had unraveled a whole chain of brothels with teenage and younger boys being kept as sex slaves financed with military funds. It had been a disaster which resulted in many heads rolling.</p><p>“I guess my personal reaction was pretty obvious,” he mumbled. “It was such a gory business, and I felt so sorry for the prostitutes. When I looked at their faces, it was like seeing myself. Scared the shit out of me. We were only fifteen at the time.”</p><p>“Yeah… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that pissed before,” Caley said, his brows furrowed. “It made me wonder though, so I started looking and noticed the long looks you gave Akito every time you thought no one was watching.”</p><p>“But someone was,” Haruto groaned. “Nothing much to do about it now. It’s been killing me all these years. Still does. It’s in my dreams every night, tormenting me more than everything else I’ve seen. Do you have dreams about those years too?”</p><p>“Yeah… I have nightmares about those years,” Caley said after a long silence. “I see their faces… All of them. The people I met, many of them dead now. The victims we encountered. The people I killed. They will never stop haunting me.” Haruto gazed out the window, leaning against his arm.</p><p>“It’s the shadow of war,” he said. “It follows us all.” Haruto shook his head. He gave Caley a grin. “We’re not as good as we used to be though. I hope the Queen won’t be disappointed.” Caley chuckled.</p><p>“You’ve got that right. Me with my damned knee, Horatio with his lungs… He gets dizzy from running you know. So neither him nor me will be quick if there’s problem.” He frowned. “I don’t remember if you…”</p><p>“Deaf on one ear. A bomb dropped close by,” Haruto motioned. “I can’t really tell the direction of sound anymore with just one ear. My balance isn’t what it was either, got pretty bashed up when I landed after the blast. It’s part of the reason why I moved here, to this colony.”</p><p>“Less noise?” Caley commented.</p><p>“Yeah, and the ocean makes the ringing in my good ear less annoying.” Haruto scratched his neck and flipped his long hair, now out of its’ trademark braid. It fell over his back in tousled locks, it hadn’t been maintained for a very long time. It seemed Haruto cared little if he had split ends.  </p><p>“We should sleep. There’s a few hours left until dawn.”</p><p>---</p><p>The morning arrived early for Caley when someone rapped hard and impatiently on the door. Keeping in mind that they were in danger, he took extra precautions before opening. As it turned out, he didn’t need to. It was their old companions, Horatio the sniper and Lo, who’s specialty had been to tail people without them noticing.</p><p>“Hey Cay!” Horatio exclaimed, pulling in the smaller man in a big hug. “Wow, you’re even skinnier than I remembered,” he frowned. Caley laughed, pushing the sniper off none too gently.</p><p>“And you’re bigger than I remember. Looks like things are going well for you.” He let them inside.</p><p>“Well, you could say that. But I’m not as active as I used to be either, so it’s mostly flab.” Horatio patted his belly and dropped his suitcase in the hall in lack of furniture to put it on. “Empty,” he complained. “Haruto never really was a material guy but this is over the top. Where is he?”</p><p>“Still sleeping, I think,” Caley motioned to the door.</p><p>“How can he sleep in this ruckus?” Lo gave Horatio a sharp look.</p><p>“Oh yeah, he must been sleeping on his good ear,” Horatio concluded, taking the other two by surprise. “What? Akito told me about the blast. You didn’t know? They dropped a bomb not ten feet from Haruto, Akito said he was bleeding like a pig.”</p><p>“Akito said that…?”Caley raised his brows.</p><p>“Well, he didn’t really put it that way,” Horatio mused, tossing his jacket over the suitcase and shook off his shoes before venturing over to Haruto’s door. “He said that he'd scared the shit out of him when he found him, since he was bleeding from his ears. Could barely stand, let alone walk and retched in a ditch when Akito got him up and away from the fighting.”</p><p>Caley watched Horatio’s back as he opened the door. So Akito had been confiding in Horatio, huh?</p><p>“What else did he tell you about it?” Caley asked slowly, making Horatio stop. The big guy glanced over his shoulder.</p><p>“Nothing much. That he’d taken Haruto to a hospital tent, where they thought he’d gone completely deaf. And..well… That Akito was forced back on the battle field without him. He wasn’t allowed to stay and watch over him.”</p><p>Horatio moved on into the room, and Caley contemplated the pain Akito must have felt when he had to leave his partner behind. It must have been difficult. Akito and Haruto had been a tag team,  inseparable. They were elite soldiers, experts at infiltrating and assassinating, but only together. Or used to be during the war.</p><p>He saw how Horatio reached out and shook Haruto to wake him up. With an unexpected result.</p><p>After having lived alone for five years Haruto nearly jumped out of his skin and almost knocked the sniper over when his fist connected with his chin. As it was, he made the twice as big guy stagger with the blow.</p><p>“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” he yelped when he realised who it was, and flew out of bed wearing only trunks. “I didn’t know it was you.” Horatio just laughed, rubbing his aching chin.</p><p>“Your fists still pack a punch,” he said amused. “You haven’t changed a bit. Literally,” he eyed the blonde standing there with only his trunks on.</p><p> “Oh come on, don’t give me that shit. I know I look like crap,” Haruto complained, but he looked happy. “It’s good to see you again. Please try to keep the noise down, though. You’ll give me a headache before you know it.” He grabbed his shirt and pants hanging over the footboard of the bed. They weren’t that smelly yet, Haruto had never really sweated much. What he knew anyway.</p><p>“Sure, sure. How about some breakfast? We were on the train all night.” The blonde quickly braided his hair while walking to the kitchen, and fastened it with a rubber band.  </p><p>“Should be plenty of food in the cupboards,” he filled up the coffee machine, contemplating the fact that he only owned one mug and two glasses. They’d have to make do.</p><p>“Do you still drink tea Lo?” Haruto eyed they smallest guy in the group.</p><p>Where Horatio was big and burly with thick, light brown mane and eyes and a white suit with blue tie, Lo was smaller than Caley, with thin black hair pulled tightly into a small ponytail, and big, black eyes. His skin was olive and often tanned, and he usually dressed in closefitting black or dark grey clothes. Right now he wore a grey tank top and a tight black leather jacket. Horatio was loud and friendly, Lo quiet and withdrawn.</p><p>They were like night and day, and had always been best friends ever since they enlisted.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lo said in a drawling voice. “It’s all right though, I can drink coffee. Can buy a kettle later today unless we’re heading out early.”</p><p>As expected of four guys under the same roof, the breakfast was big. And even then, Horatio ate for two, something that made both Haruto and Caley stare. As Caley finished his last sandwich, his laptop started blinking, and he grabbed it, pushing the things on the table aside and opened it.</p><p>“Looks like a message from the Queen,” he declared, and started typing away. “Looks like we’re having pizza for lunch. Horatio – order 5 double baked Vesuvio with extra garlic to be delivered two o’clock. Santana’s Pizza Place.” He scratched down a phone number on a piece of paper.</p><p>“Gotcha.” Horatio moved out of the kitchen, and Caley took Haruto by the arm for a walk on the beach. As they got out of the house the blonde took a deep breath, drawing in the scent of the ocean.</p><p>“I love this place, you know. I know it’s artificial, but still.” Caley looked out over the ocean, wave after wave gently lulling against the white sand. The sky was cloudy, the weekly rain had been announced to come in a few hours.</p><p>“I figured you’d need some quiet after the noisy morning,” Caley said, limping on slightly behind Haruto. The sand was tricky to walk on with a bad leg. Haruto nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets.</p><p>“I’ll never get used to it, I think,” he said, shuffling on in the sand. “Not hearing well anymore.”</p><p>“Well, we knew we might not make it back alive or whole. It was part of the deal.” Caley trudged on for a few minutes, but as he just got slower and slower he eventually stopped.</p><p>“I need to go back, this sand is too heavy for me to walk on,” he wiped sweat from his forehead with his arm. “Don’t stay out too long. We don’t know if it’s safe.”</p><p>“Yeah yeah, whatever. See you back at the house.” Haruto turned his gaze on the grey sky and stood motionless for several minutes after Caley had disappeared.</p><p>“Where are you Akito?” he mumbled. “Are you all right?” A slight breeze passed, playing with Haruto’s hair where he stood, and a gentle rain started falling. Earlier than he thought it would. “Do you remember me…?”he whispered to the wind, knowing all too well there would be no answer, before he turned to walk back to the house. Damn it all. Damn it all to hell.</p><p>Angry at himself for still feeling that way but unable to help it, he returned to the cottage before he got soaked, looking more miserable than ever with his blonde bangs plastered to his face. Lo was waiting by the backdoor for him, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. He eyed Haruto up and down, noting the water as well as Haruto’s upset expression.</p><p>“I wonder what Akito would say if he saw that look on your face right now?” the smaller boy mused. Haruto gave him a dark glare, showing a bit of teeth. Lo stood back, surprised.</p><p>“Go to hell Lo, you don’t know anything you fucking bastard. Leave me the hell alone. I’m taking a shower,” he practically snarled, and disappeared into the bathroom. Horatio watched him go, Lo standing speechless by the door.</p><p>“What the hell? What’s he upset over?” Horatio asked, opening a can of coke with a low sizzle. Lo shrugged with a confused look on his face.</p><p>“You’re probably best off not mentioning Akito until we know he’s still alive,” Caley put in from the sofa, where he was busy typing away on his laptop. Lo and Horatio stared at him. “Come on guys, give the guy a break. Can’t you see he’s worried?”</p><p>“Whatever,” Lo flung his arms in the air and flopped down on the armchair. “I thought they hadn’t had any contact in these years after the Apocalypse ended.”</p><p>“They haven’t,” Caley stopped typing and looked up. “I’m telling you this in confidence, okay?” he whispered. “Haruto is pretty sensitive when it comes to Akito. More than just him being his best friend.”</p><p>“You mean he’s got the hots for Akito?” Horatio gave a low whistle. “I had no idea.” Lo gave the two a strange expression, and his cheeks turned pink.</p><p>“Is that it, Caley?” Lo turned even more pink as the strategist nodded. “I don’t think I want to think about it,” Lo mumbled embarrassed.</p><p>“And whatever you do, don’t fucking let him know I told you,” Caley held up his index finger, pointing at Horatio. “He’d kill me, and you too for good measure. It’s not as simple as just that, though. He’s head over heels, fucking in love with him and Akito doesn’t know about it.” Caley picked up his typing again.</p><p>Horatio and Lo sat in silence after that, both too deep in thought to talk, and Caley too busy working. When Haruto came back, he retreated into the kitchen without a word. No one tried to push him. If it was one thing the gang always respected, it was the need for solitude.</p><p>---</p><p>It wasn’t until the pizza delivery boy arrived at two sharp the stalemate was lifted, and Haruto came back to the living room while Horatio opened the first box, and the aroma of pizza instantly filled the cramp little cottage.</p><p>“I’d forgotten how good pizza can smell,” Caley said cheerfully and grabbed his own box. Haruto looked at the table, frowning. “Most of the pizza places either went bankrupt or destroyed during the last part of the war.”</p><p>“Five boxes?” Haruto said, musing as he pointed to the fifth. “Does that mean one is…”</p><p>“Yeah, you got that right.” Caley patted the fifth box. “It’s not pizza in this one. It’s tools.”</p><p>After five years of never using weapons, Haruto had a hard time accepting the fact that Caley treated them so casually. His hands missed the feeling of metal, he missed the scent of dust and oil from the space shuttles. And he couldn’t understand why. It was just absurd because he'd hated the war.</p><p>“So it’s the way it goes, huh?” he cut off large piece of his pizza and crammed it into his mouth. Horatio was already halfway through his.</p><p>“Yeah,” Caley glanced at the box. “It feels like stepping over a boundary I had hoped to never cross again. And yet…”</p><p>“And yet,” Lo agreed. “We’ve been there too long. It’s all we know. Peace is unfamiliar…it’s frightening.” They kept eating in silence, and eventually Caley opened up the box and handed out the contents. They all strapped on chest holsters and checked the guns. Then Caley’s eyes fell on the last gun, lying alone in the box. Haruto stared at it with empty eyes, his mind somewhere far away.</p><p>“Haru… You take it. He might need it.” Horatio’s voice barely reached the blonde soldier, but he swallowed and nodded as he saw Caley holding it out to him.</p><p>“Yeah…”he mumbled, stuffing the gun into its’ holster and strapping it crossed over his own. He hoped no one would notice if he wore a jacket over. As he stopped in his tracks again, spacing out, he felt Horatio’s hand on his shoulder. The big guy looked down on him.</p><p>“Look, we all know the deal. There are no guarantees. But even if it’s too late to save Akito, we’ll at least get his body back and give him a proper burial here, on this colony,” he said silently. Haruto’s eyes went wide at Horatio’s words, and he stared at him with his mouth ajar. Caley swallowed nervously, unsure whether to expect an outburst or not. To his surprise, Haruto didn’t get angry. His eyes were wide in surprise, and to all their astonishment – even his – a silent tear rolled down Haruto’s cheek.</p><p>“What the hell,” he swore under his breath, quickly wiping it away with his hand as more tears came, and wouldn’t stop. “…god dammit…”he muttered, turning away from the others and walking over to stand by the window. “God dammit!”</p><p>No one said a word. Haruto stood by the window with his back turned, his body rocked by violent, withheld sobs as he cried. He had not cried since he was ten and started his training to be a soldier, not even when he realised he would probably never get his hearing back.</p><p>They all knew that.</p><p>As Haruto’s tears stopped falling and he stood by the window shivering, Caley cleared his throat.</p><p>“I… We’re moving out…”he said silently, watching the blonde’s back with concern. “One hour. A truck will pick us up by the bay. Are…are you ok, Haruto?” A sudden sharp sound was heard as Haruto banged his fist against the window, which rattled dangerously.</p><p>“Yeah. Let’s send those bastards to Hell,” Haruto growled low. “I swear…if he’s…gone…”the word ‘gone’ sounded painful to say. “…I swear, I won’t rest until every single person involved…has paid for it.” A heavy hand on his shoulder made him look up, and Horatio squeezed.</p><p>“We’ll swear the same oath buddy,” he said, smiling. “No one messes with the limbs of this cell.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Haruto rubbed his eyes. “Thanks… I needed that, I think. I feel…lighter somehow.” Shoving Horatio to the side, he went to look at the details of the mission of Caley’s laptop.</p><p>“So they think he’s on RT304 huh? Isn’t that…”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s the colony ruled by the mafia. We’re in some deep shit. But the information seems to be accurate.” Caley dragged the message to his decomposition program, which would overwrite it ten thousand times before disposing of it. Just to be sure.</p><p>“Well, it’s hardly the worst job we’ve done,” Haruto stretched, his eyes still red and his voice thick. “Let’s get ready to head down. My truck is outside.”</p><p>---</p><p>A few hours later they sat on a space shuttle well on the way towards RT304, with Haruto curled up in a seat to try to sleep. He was the only one who could. Lo was deep in thought about what the hell they should do <em>if</em> Akito would turn up dead. He glanced at his companion, lying in his seat with that golden braid snaking down on the floor.</p><p>What would Haruto do? The display of pain he’d seen before had been most unsettling. He guessed he cared more since this was the only family he knew. The only family all of them knew. And Akito? What would he do when he saw Haruto again? If he was still alive. He’d never really considered that Akito may have feelings for Haruto other than brotherly.</p><p>A nudge from Horatio woke him up from his thoughts, and he looked up.</p><p>“I’m worried,” he whispered, and Lo nodded.</p><p>“Me too,” the smaller man agreed. “Akito’s been gone for two weeks. What if we’re too late?”</p><p>“That’s what’s on my mind too,” Horatio grimaced. “If he’s dead, we’ll have to do whatever we can for Haruto… I don’t think he will be able to accept it.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lo murmured, looking back on the sleeping form beside him. “Damn it all, I’m totally wasted when it comes to stuff like this. I wish there were someone to talk to. I can’t even imagine how it feels.” Horatio sighed and shook his head.</p><p>“We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve seen everything. But we can’t even understand our own brother in arms feelings right now. I feel so powerless. I just want to bring Akito back, alive if I can. For Haruto’s sake. But… There’s just so much you can do with two hands…”</p><p>“Yeah…”Lo agreed, his shoulder drooping as he looked back down on Haruto’s sleeping form.</p><p>As they docked at the port some hours later, the difference between this colony and the one they had left became all to visible. While KT201, Haruto’s home colony, was poor and broken after the war, RT304 was a paradise for the wealthy. Everywhere you could see there were flashing neon signs, gambling halls, pubs and brothels unashamedly announcing their goods. The streets swarmed with people, the buzz worse than an active bee hive.</p><p>Naturally the noise put Haruto in a cranky mood at once, and he was snappier than usual.</p><p>“Move your asses, we don’t have time to sit around,” he barked at Horatio and Caley, as they slowed to a halt at the bottom of the sixth escalator they’d passed since port. Caley gave him a tired look.</p><p>“Please Haruto, chill a bit. I know this isn’t your kind of place.” Haruto grimaced back at him, a clear sign he’d not heard a word he'd said. Just a faint noise mixed with the rest.</p><p>“God dammit!” he yelled, taking out his frustration on a poor trash can nearby. The kick was strong enough to send it rolling, spreading the contents over the street. As he was about to give it another good kick, someone grabbed his arm and he realised it was Lo.</p><p>“Don’t make me hit you,” he said, aiming at Haruto’s good ear. He could feel his friend trembling. Anger? Fear? But Haruto didn’t move. He didn’t even try to kick the can again. “Come on, let’s go.” He tugged at the blonde, who followed without a word.</p><p>It wasn’t until they got inside the small pub they were supposed to meet their contact in that he spoke, and it was with a trembling voice.</p><p>“…the noise. I hate the noise…”he pressed his hand to his good ear, and slumped down on one of the battered red leather sofas. Interested customers leaned over to look at the pretty young man with the long braid. “Piss off,” he growled, and they quickly went back to drinking.</p><p>Caley gave Horatio a glance, and motioned to him to check up on Haruto, and went to the back to find the contact.</p><p>“Here.” Haruto looked at the little thing Horatio held out, and realised it was an earplug. Staring at it for a few seconds, he took it, and the blessed silence fell around him. With his one good ear plugged, he couldn’t hear anything at all. Just that one, bright note that would never go away. He could live with it, it wasn’t too bad.</p><p>As Haruto slumped on the sofa with his eyes closed, Lo motioned at him.</p><p>“Was that such a good idea? Now he’s completely deaf.” Horatio shrugged.</p><p>“He’ll be useless if he goes nuts from the noise. Couldn’t you see his eyes?”</p><p>“I did,” Lo grimaced. Haruto’s eyes had been wide open in panic. He squinted at the door Caley had disappeared through. “I wonder what’s taking Cay so long.” He sighed and shook his head. “This place is bad for me, now I want a drink,” he muttered.</p><p>“We can grab one later,” Horatio promised. “This is about the last place I’d want to get drunk on.”</p><p>As he said that, Caley returned with a bag slung over his shoulder.</p><p>“Let’s go,” he grinned. Horatio grabbed Haruto’s arm and hauled him along with them, and though he was shot a dark look the blonde said nothing.</p><p>As they got out Caley told them what the Queen knew.</p><p>“…so basically, they’ve figured out the last known location they kept prisoners at. We’ll have to start sniffing around there. Lo, are we being tailed?” Lo shook his head.</p><p>“No, I should have known. I think we haven’t attracted any unwanted attention. Yet,” he glanced at Haruto, who was going dark-eyed behind Horatio. “Shall I scout forward? I think I move faster alone.”</p><p>“Sure, go ahead.” As Lo sped off Caley frowned at Horatio. “What did you do to him?” he motioned at Haruto, who was trudging slightly behind them with a firm grip on Horatio’s wrist.</p><p>“Earplug. He was going crazy.” Caley sighed.</p><p>“Right. Oh well, I guess that’s fine. At least until we get inside. He’s never done the small work before anyway.” Horatio chuckled and shook his head.</p><p>“Did you get him some toys?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Caley smiled. “I did indeed.”</p><p>With Lo scouting ahead the three men made their way through partly crowded streets, partly empty alleys with suspicious signs. As Caley realised what they were, it was too late. Haruto had already shut himself, and walked stiffly after Horatio with downcast eyes. They were brothels, many of them similar to the brothel they had busted during the Rakel incident. Young boys prostituting themselves for older men. And on this colony there was no way the police or army could save them.</p><p>Caley glanced up, but Lo was nowhere to be seen. Just a small walk now, then they would be inside. He’d have to do something about Haruto. This mission seemed to take it’s fair toll on him. He hadn’t realised just how badly scarred his brother in arms had been when he went to visit him. He was starting to understand now. Maybe it had been a mistake to bring him here.</p><p>Once they got off the street and onto another busy street, they moved very slowly. Caley’s joints were aching, and Haruto was in a pretty bad shape. His previously tense shoulders were now drooping, and he followed Horatio as if hypnotized. It was so unlike him.</p><p>As Caley led the way to a closed metal door in an alley, Lo was waiting for them. He looked concerned.</p><p>“You slowed down. I almost lost you. Get inside, we might have caught some attention.” They slipped inside, where Haruto wrenched himself away from Horatio and away from the others. They could hear him cursing as he moved away to a wall, leaning against it.</p><p>They were silent, saw him remove the earplug and stuffing it into his pocket.</p><p>“Are you okay, Haruto?” Horatio asked finally, earning a small nod from the blonde.</p><p>“I’m all right…”he mumbled in a hushed, strained voice. “Don’t be so fucking concerned. I’ve been a dog of war. I can handle a few…tortured souls…”The last was quiet, sad. They all understood what he meant, there were no need for words.</p><p>“Did you have something for me, Cay?” he finally said, glancing over his shoulder.</p><p> “Yeah, here you go,” Caley handed him the bag, and Haruto pulled out a gun with a silencer, gloves, a clip with a microchip in it, that he attached at the lining of his pants. Finally he picked out a radio, complete with ear clips. He stared at it, then shook his head and replaced it in the bag, before tossing it back to Caley.</p><p>“You’ll have to rely on the radar, I can’t use that thing,” he said, turning his face away.</p><p>“At least wear the microphone so we can hear your reports,” Caley tried persuasively. Haruto sighed.</p><p>“All right…”</p><p>---</p><p>Lo had slipped into the first ventilation shaft they had found, and scouted ahead as silently and quickly as a rat. The other three padded on, listening and waiting alert for any reports from Lo. As they made their way through the many corridors dwindling deeper and deeper into the core of the colony, all sense of direction disappeared. The only thing they had to help them was Caley’s memory. He’d been sitting with the maps of the ventilation systems all the way here on the space shuttle. They had relied on him in the past, and still trusted him even after these five years.</p><p>It wasn’t until they reached a dead end they realised they’d have to take the route through the ventilation for the last part. Caley cursed as Horatio dragged him up the hole.</p><p>“I can’t crawl like this,” he hissed.</p><p>“It can’t be helped.” Horatio glanced after Haruto, that was quietly making his way forward. “It’s the only way. At least until we can find an exit.” Twenty minutes of slow crawling later, Lo finally gave them the report they’d waited for.</p><p>“I’m at the entrance. No guards.” Haruto loosened the net to the shaft and slipped out without a sound, landing on the floor below with the grace of a large cat. “It’s an U turn, take it slow. I can’t see any cameras at the moment, but that doesn’t mean the door isn’t rigged.”</p><p>Haruto crept closer, scanning the corridor for cameras. Nothing. He’d expected there to be some kind of security devices considering the wealth of the owners of this massive complex, but nothing visible could be seen. The door was a standard safe house door, a two decimeter thick iron door without a handle on the outside. It only had a code lock at the side.</p><p>“Cay, I need your expertise,” he whispered. The strategist hooked up to the lock without complaints, and started running his decryption program. After a full minute they had a green light, and the door silently swung open.</p><p>Keeping his gun ready, Haruto snuck inside. No guards.</p><p>“This is worrying,” he muttered. “It looks abandoned.” Corridor after corridor was empty and void of life. Haruto searched every room he encountered but found nothing. It wasn’t until he reached another code locked door they sensed any sign of life, and it wasn’t Haruto – but Lo – who first heard them.</p><p>“Voices,” he whispered through his teeth, and cursed the fact that Haruto had no ear clip. As a result, the guard had rounded the corner before Haruto noticed him, and two shots echoed through the small hallway.</p><p>Silence fell, and all Caley could hear was heavy breathing for several painful seconds.</p><p>“I’m okay…he missed,” Haruto’s voice said finally, and they all breathed a sigh of relief. “Dammit, this is so much harder when you can’t hear,” he muttered. A soft clinging sound was heard when the blonde searched the body.</p><p>“I found a badge…it has some kind of bird on it…”the faint whisper from Haruto was heard. Caley nodded to himself. They were on the right track after all. “Right, the body is out of sight. The lock please, Cay.”</p><p>The soft whirring of the working laptop made the three hiding in the ventilation shaft grit their teeth, and Caley cursed the fact that he hadn't received a more modern laptop for this assignment. This one had been working so hard these years it was both slow and outdated.</p><p>The click of the door was loud enough for even Haruto to hear, and he crept slower and more careful than ever. No one was guarding right at the door, but that didn’t suggest there were no guards. They could be patrolling, they weren’t even certain this entrance was in use.</p><p>Since they could no longer follow Haruto without being heard in case there were guards, Caley sat down in the small ventilation shaft with his laptop over his lap. Horatio was crouching some steps further in, one hand cupping his ear so he would hear what Haruto said. The only one following Haruto through the shaft was Lo.</p><p>Haruto crept on one step at a time, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. He glanced over his shoulder over and over again, the fear to be snuck up on growing stronger with every step. As a guard suddenly rounded a corner he shot instinctively before he knew it. The sound dull in the empty rooms.</p><p>For a full minute that seemed as long as an hour, nothing happened. Haruto didn’t speak, all they could hear was his shuddering, deep breathing.</p><p>“…I can’t do this…”he finally whispered. “…I can’t do this…it’s too risky…”</p><p>The fear in his voice was obvious. Every syllable was draped in the fear of dying. It was the voice of a man with a gun pointed at his neck.</p><p>“Fuck,” they could hear Lo curse quietly. “I can’t watch him. I’m going down.” The faint tinkering of a ventilation net being loosened was heart, and the tap of feet as Lo landed on the floor. “Shh, it’s me Haruto. I’ll be your ears.”</p><p>No answer. But they could hear a rustling sound.</p><p>“Don’t cry, you pussy,” they heard Lo say softly. “Come on.” Caley slumped where he sat, shooting Horatio a concerned look in the soft glow of the laptop.</p><p>“Lo, how is he? Shall we abort the mission?” he whispered, and another rustling was heard.</p><p>“He’s scared shitless but we’ll do this. I’ll go with him.”</p><p>“Be careful. He has the silencer.”</p><p>“I know,” he could hear Lo sigh. More rustling noises, and Caley could see on the radar how Haruto started moving again. The plans for the building overlapped, and he could see how they crept around a corner. A loud thump was heard, and then silence. Another thump.</p><p>“Two more guards put out and disarmed,” Lo whispered. “How much longer?”</p><p>“Three turns. About twenty five meters. Is it safe for us to crawl on?”</p><p>“Yeah, should be.” Lo looked at Haruto’s backside. The former soldier was shivering visibly where he stood crouched, his gun ready. Lo shook his head. Haruto and Akito had been the perfect team, almost unstoppable.</p><p>Right now the same Haruto seemed afraid of his own shadow.</p><p>At least the blonde’s aim was still impeccable. The shots he had pulled off had been flawless, and his time to aim almost to none. The last two hadn’t even been killed. He’d knocked them in the exact right spot in the neck to render them unconscious for a few hours.</p><p>Lo knew without being told that he himself could never have done that.</p><p>Lo followed Haruto as the other quietly went forward, his big, heavy boots making almost no sound at all. Caley kept giving him the distance to the staircase leading up to the rooms that had been reported to have prisoners. As they got to the corner, Lo heard voices. He instantly snatched Haruto’s shoulder, and the blonde halted abruptly. Lo signed at him, and he nodded.</p><p>Thank god for the sign language they’d been drilled to use in situations like this. He signed that there were three guards. Haruto made a face. Taking care of three people at once meant one of two things – risk being shot or make so much noise more would come running.</p><p>Haruto patted his pockets, no flash bangs. Damn. Before Lo could stop him, he picked up a pebble from his pocket and tossed it. The small noise made the voices quiet, and he could hear footsteps closing in.</p><p>Haruto quickly shoved Lo aside, as the scout was standing motionless. It was what he’d been learned when tailing, but here it was dangerous. The next second the guard rounded the corner, and Haruto wasted no time. He carried a big rifle, so there was no time to spare his life. A single bullet left the silenced gun, and the next moment the body fell with a heavy thud that even Caley and Horatio could hear. They froze instantly, listening.</p><p>The two guards by the door came running instantly, both too shocked to really know what was going on. Haruto was waiting for them, he swept one off his feet in a swift motion, and knocked his head against the wall, and before the second one could get off more than one ill-aimed shot he had put him out with a single bullet at close range.</p><p>Lo stood in the corner with his heart rabbiting in his chest. A few seconds. That was all Haruto had needed to put out three guards. Lo trembled as he pushed the microphone closer to his mouth.</p><p>“Guards by the door out, area cleared.” His voice trembled, as one unused to being in the middle of fire would. “You can come now.” Haruto was already by the double doors leading to the stairs, and checked the lock. This one wasn’t code locked, which was probably the reason they had spared guards. He shook his head.</p><p>“Unless any of those have keys,” he nodded at the guards. “We’ll have to blow this one.” Horatio poked at one of the guards with his toe, before he started searching him. As expected, they had no keys, only a radio to announce the changing of shifts. He cursed under his breath.</p><p>“No keys.”</p><p>Caley drew a breath, the uneasiness that started when the first shot was heard growing stronger by the moment.</p><p>“We don’t have much time before they notice we’re here. But I’ll try pick the lock,” he swept his shoulder length hair aside, and pulled out a small hairpin. Horatio and Lo huddled beside him, while Haruto stood by the turn and kept guard, now and then glancing at the others. He could see how Lo held up a flashlight, and an increasingly sweaty Caley twisted hairpin after hairpin. Not a sound was heard, but Lo kept alert.</p><p>When the door finally clicked, Horatio had to go fetch Haruto so he could enter first. No one of the others had the same reflexes he had. As they crept up the stairs, they instantly heard voices. The guards here were talking loud enough for even Haruto to hear, and they pressed close to the steps until the voices faded out.</p><p>Lo signed to Haruto, who crept up, step by step on his knees until he could see over the final step. Two guards with their backs turned. An ideal situation. Haruto’s nerves however, were not. He aimed for almost a full minute, then retreated to the others, sweat running down his face. He handed Horatio the gun without a word, burying his face in his arms. Caley rubbed his shoulder, and could feel the blonde shaking. Every fiber in his body was tense as a bowstring.</p><p>Horatio frowned with a concerned look on his face, but lay down to aim at the guards. He was slower, but he didn’t have the pressure on him like Haruto.</p><p>Haruto was just shaking, fear gripping him so hard he was unable to fight it off himself. What if Akito was dead? It would crush Haruto no matter how much he was trying to toughen up, they had realized that much now. What the hell would they do? What would Haruto do?</p><p>When the shot connected and the first body fell to the floor, the other guard was instantly alert, and took cover. As he fumbled with his radio, Lo squirreled up and shot him at point blank with his unsilenced gun. One single shot at close range, ringing through the room. Silence fell, all that could be heard was Haruto’s rapid breathing.</p><p>“Reinforcements can arrive any moment now if they noticed the radio,” he said as he got out a big set of card keys from one of the guard’s pockets. Most of them numbered. ”Find him,” he tossed the keys toward his companions, and it skidded on the floor and down the stairs until it landed by Caley and Haruto.</p><p>“Come on,” Caley said, dragging Haruto with him. The blonde was shaking so badly he could barely stand. “You don’t know yet. Here,” he broke the set apart and handed Haruto a bunch of keys. “Check those doors.”</p><p>Haruto stumbled over to the first door, and after some fumbling managed to unlock it. The door swung open to reveal an empty room. He let out a shaky sigh, and went to the next.</p><p>“…a victim in here,” Caley announced, making the others freeze up. “Dead. I don’t recognize him, but…could be from another five man cell, he looks about our age.” Slowly but surely panicking, Haruto opened door after door, until there was only one left.</p><p>Akito had to be in there. Had to. Closing his eyes, Haruto drew the last card and heard the lock click, and slowly swung the door open. There, on the floor, lay a familiar form. Haruto stood in the doorway, frozen. Akito, dressed in the same casual clothes he always used, lay motionless on the floor. Horatio pushed passed the frozen blonde, slumping at the doorway.</p><p>Was he alive? Was he…</p><p>“He’s still alive,” Horatio announced. “He doesn’t even look hurt. He’s just unconscious.” The relief was tremendous. Haruto cried like he’d never cried before, as he watched Horatio gather the smaller shape of his best friend. His only love.</p><p>Caley was the only one still alert enough to recognize they were not out of danger yet.</p><p>“Here,” he grabbed Haruto. “Come on, we need to get out of here before more guards arrive.” He more or less dragged Haruto with him after Horatio, and they hurried down the stairs and through the corridor. Halfway through, Haruto had recovered enough to offer to carry Akito if Horatio held the gun.</p><p>“I can’t aim like I am now, but I can carry him,” he admitted, holding out his shaking hands. No one argued. If being close to Akito would calm Haruto down, then it was the best thing that could happen.</p><p>When Horatio put Akito down though, Haruto’s eyes went wide.</p><p>“…Aki…”he whispered in shock, and the other three froze. Haruto leaned down, silently pulling out a short braid. “He grew his hair…and braided it…”Haruto whispered, his ears turning red. “Did you actually…miss me…?”he whispered, overwhelmed.</p><p>“He must have,” Caley said gently. “Didn’t he always call your braid impractical?”</p><p>“Yeah…”Haruto whispered, wiping at his eyes. “I’ll take you home,” he promised Akito’s unconscious form, and pulled him up on his back. The feeling of the other’s warm body against his making butterflies flutter in his belly.</p><p>“Let’s bolt,” he said, with Akito’s limp form resting on his back. The dark haired youth’s head resting on his shoulder, and his arms on both sides of Haruto’s neck.</p><p>Just like Akito had carried him after the bomb fell.</p><p>The group sped out through the corridor and out on the street, not relaxing until they reached the port and found the space shuttle at the same place they’d left it. A small group of fortune hunters passed them without giving them a second glance, and they got onto the small ship. The pilot jumped from his seat when they arrived, the newspaper he’d been reading fell to the floor.</p><p>“Let’s get the hell away from here,” Horatio ordered, and they took flight. Haruto gently put Akito down on a seat, and fidgeted nervously for a small moment. He bit his lip.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Caley asked. “Is he hurt?” Haruto shook his head.</p><p>“Nothing,” he whispered hoarsely, unconsciously clutching at his aching heart. “Nothing.” He fell down on his knees and started to pull Akito’s jacket off to check for injuries. He was just about to touch Akito’s chest to feel for broken ribs when a calloused hand grabbed his wrist. A gentle grip, barely touching, but enough to make his heart vault.</p><p>“Haruto.” Akito’s voice was hoarse, tired but his eyes were as clear blue as they had always been. Haruto swallowed.</p><p>“I-I just wanted to make sure you weren’t…hurt…”Haruto trailed off as Akito didn’t let go, and didn’t stop staring. Then Akito reached out with his other hand, and pulled Haruto close. So close his cheek was leaning against his chest and his shoulders brushed the insides of his thighs. Haruto trembled and slowly closed his eyes as he leaned into Akito’s embrace.</p><p>He could feel Akito lean forward and rest his cheek against the blonde’s head, close to his good ear.</p><p>“What took you so long?” Akito said gently.</p><p>“We came as fast as we could,” Haruto mumbled back. Lo sat blushing heavily beside them, and Horatio and Caley tried to look elsewhere. They didn’t want to intrude on this suddenly very intimate moment.</p><p>“I knew you’d come,” Akito said, letting go of Haruto’s hand and pulling him tighter to him.</p><p>“You grew your hair,” Haruto whispered, and could feel the other nod. He snuggled against the warm chest, the scent of dust and sweat and oil so very familiar. He pressed himself closer and dared to lift his arms and wrap them around Akito's middle. Even if it would never happen again…he wished this single moment of bliss would never end.</p><p>“Yeah…”Akito sounded embarrassed. “I just wanted… Hell, I don’t know. Keep something that reminded me of you. That braid of yours was the first thing I could think of.” Akito chuckled, and Haruto could feel how he wrapped his braid around his hand.</p><p>“Do you need some water?” Haruto finally pushed himself up, his face so close to Akito’s he could feel the other’s breath whisk over his face. Akito nodded slowly.</p><p>“I passed out from lack of water and nutrition,” he said simply, his intense blue eyes making Haruto breathless. The blonde bit his lip and gently leaned his forehead against Akito’s.</p><p>“I’ll get you some,” he murmured. “I won’t leave you again.” He arose, slightly wobbly on his feet because of his old injuries, and made his way over to the food and drink they’d packed. No one said anything. Akito watched him go and never took his eyes from him. At that moment, nothing else mattered. He didn’t even care they were seen.</p><p>Akito drank the water slowly and took a small nibble at the nutrition bar Haruto handed him, then looked up on the bewildered blonde, and gave him one of his rare smiles.</p><p>“Sit with me?” he asked, a question he need not say twice. Haruto sunk down on the floor, and gently, nervously he hesitantly leaned over Akito’s thigh and watched him eat. This closeness was new -  and frightening. If Akito had hit his head on something, he never wanted him to get well again. To be able to be this close, to touch him like this. It was far beyond what he had hoped for.</p><p>In truth, he hadn’t even hoped. He’d given up before trying. He’d surrendered to the thought of living alone and heartbroken for the rest of his life.</p><p>“Will…will you come live at my place…?”he finally asked, making Akito pause in his eating. The dark-haired man stared at him for almost a minute, before his expression turned tender, and he nodded.</p><p>“Sure, didn't know you'd want me to,” he whispered, voice thick with emotions - something decidedly out of character for the old soldier. Haruto could barely hear it, but he saw the nod.</p><p>“I…I was…scared…”he mumbled, casting down his eyes. “I didn’t know if…”A small rustle of wrapping paper, then a firm hand on his head, thumb rubbing lightly.</p><p>“Don’t say it,” Akito said firmly, and Haruto looked up. The blue eyes were shining, and his expression worried. “I can see it on your face, you know,” he said gently. “You look exhausted. It’s over Haru. It’s over. You can rest now.”</p><p>It was as if that’s what Haruto’s body had been waiting to hear. The moment Akito had said it, the air went out of him, and every muscle in Haruto’s body relaxed. He slumped over Akito’s lap, his head rested over his thighs while the other gently caressed his hair as the blonde fell into a deep slumber.</p><p>“Looks like that was a load off his shoulders,” Lo finally said, startling Akito. The former soldier looked at him as if he hadn’t even noticed he was there. “He’s been worried about you.” Akito didn’t answer at once, he looked back on Haruto and kept caressing him.</p><p>“It’s funny,” he said finally. “He’s always been there for me. Being without him… I realised that I’ve always relied on him.” Akito’s voice was once more filled of emotions, something it had never been when the war still raged. “I was lonely without him,” he finally whispered, sweeping away Haruto’s tousled bangs from his face.</p><p>“I think…that he was just as lonely as you were,” Caley inserted. “What will you do now?” Akito shrugged.</p><p>“I don’t know. But I know one thing,” he turned back to look at Haruto on his lap. “I’ll never say goodbye again. Even if…”he fell silent, and his cheeks turned a pink hue. “Don’t tell him,” he muttered. “But…”he fell silent again. “Ah hell, I think I fucking love him,” he managed to get out. A frustrated growl, filled with the confusion of not really knowing what to do with all the pent up feelings.</p><p>“You're in love with him?” Caley said quietly, his voice carefully neutral. Akito gave him an irritated glance, then nodded. “Tell him when he wakes up. He deserves to know after everything he went through for you.” Akito froze, his eyes grew huge. He stared at Caley, who looked back with a sincere expression. He was not kidding.</p><p>“Tell him…?”Akito whispered. “Are you telling me…he feels the same way…?”the whisper was trembling, fearful. The voice of a man who had never expected to love and be loved in return. Caley, Horatio and Lo nodded almost simultaneously, and Akito couldn’t hold back anymore. He leaned over Haruto, burying his face in the blonde’s braid and cried.</p><p>It had been far too long, but today was a good day for starting over.</p>
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